We all have significant moments in our lives that we couldn’t (although sometimes we wish we could) forget.
As I opened the classroom door, there was this unusual silence. The floor was almost red with petals of roses. I walked towards my table where a bouquet of red flowers greeted me. I was still angry (or at least I was acting). I looked at the board and on it was a message, Sorry Miss *****. The class president stood and tried to talk me out of my acting. And when I finally saw that everyone learned their lesson, I accepted the apology.
How can I get angry with the students I loved so well.
My life will never be the same if I hadn’t spent a part of my life teaching. The first advisory and only advisory class I handled always has a spot in my heart. They reminded me how good it was to be carefree and responsible at the right time, and most importantly, they thought me about friendship.
In every class are unique personalities of individuals who would want to be understood and accepted. At that time of my life, I was idealistic about teaching. I wanted to be this teacher that they will never forget but looking back, I think it is me who will never forget them. More than me teaching them, it was them who gave me one of the best memories of my life.
Everyone has a painful love story. At 26 years old, I thought I was in control of my feelings. I thought my mind can tell my heart when to stop so I wouldn’t fall so hard. But without a warning, my mind stopped working. It just let my heart took over everything. I was heading for doom.
In a relationship with other parties involved, you just don’t know how a story would end. That moment, I knew I have lost but I refuse to accept. I asked the universe to do its course but I also shouted to it what I badly wanted. I held on not knowing what the end would be. I strongly rejected thoughts about the life I do not want to have. I had to go through the pains. The good thing was that my family is always there for me.
I waited patiently to see how that love story would turn out. Slowly, the universe removed all the challenges. To my amazement, it did ran its course. The possible endings I thought of were nothing close to what the universe planned for us. I am proud of myself for not giving up. This moment taught me that if there are things you really want, claim it and never give up.
What kind of a mother is someone who would not put the birth of their children as one of the most memorable part of their lives? My growing, and hectic career life in an office changed when I gave birth to my beautiful kids. Like most career women, I never imagined myself out of a regular office job to stay at home and take care of kids. It is one of the things I told myself will not happen.
But now I realized that more to the growth of a company is the growth of beautiful children who were sent to me as a blessing. Now I understood why their needs should come first. My parents and guardians did everything so I can get my best shot at life. Now that I have children, I still want to continue getting the best things life can offer but if it would interfere with what my kids want, then my heart is big enough to give way so they can have moments, good or bad, the way I did.
When your heart is full of love, full of hurt, full of hate and you can’t express it for whatever reasons, the best way to let it out is through writing. This is what writing is for me when I was starting to write back then. I do not consider myself a creative writer. I still have insecurities about my writing ability but who cares! I am not here to publish a book (yet! who knows what the future holds) and I am holding on the thought that everyone has their unique style of writing.
Maybe my writing is just waiting for the perfect audience who would see its beauty!
When I first read Sweet Valley High’s Jessica and Elizabeth’s diary, I was solved that I will start writing. I did! I got our typewriter (whew! who else uses a typewriter?) and my fingers started tapping the keys until I had a manuscript of some sorts. Maybe it was 10 pages, maybe it was 20. I already lost it for sure. Reading that book inked in my heart the importance of a diary and up till today, it continues to impact my life.
I write about unheard admiration. As a teen and maybe, as part of my personality as well, confessing a crush or admiration to a guy is not in my vocabulary. I do not want to give any guy the thought that he can make fun of me, court me, make me fall then break my heart. Because of this, I keep all my thoughts in writing.
I write about love, heartaches, hate. There are so many themes or topics that can fall on these categories. Yes, we’ve had them all. The only difference is that not everyone writes about them. I do. It releases whatever feelings I have. It encapsulates my youthfulness, my vulnerabilities, my innocence. And whether it will be discovered someday by my grandchildren, or it will be discovered as a relic, still- they can imagine how it was like to be me, to live in my time, to live with my memory.
Today, I write in this blog because I care about writing. I still believe that my brain has something to offer, something I know I will treasure when I am old. I write because I can still feel. No, make that, I feel stronger emotions that I understand this time.
We all live in this life once. Our thoughts, they can stay forever when written (at least while the internet still exists, or while WordPress still does).
Write! It doesn’t matter if you are no journalist, or no author- We were all given the gift of communication so use it! Love God’s gift.
Be challenged! Start writing by following the Daily Prompts.
“One cannot think well, love well, sleep well,
if one has not dined well.”